EDITORIAL

Fight the Power

It has come to my attention that we're publishing a lot of poems and articles about the living dead, but none by them. This seems, I hardly need point out, discriminatory. We direct our gaze at the zombie, but the zombie, subjugated to the position of object, is denied the opportunity to participate in the discourse. Is this fair? Surely, even taking into consideration the zombie's unpleasant stench of death, it is not.

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No other member of our society is so maligned. When was the last time you asked a zombie out on a date? When was the last time you voted for a zombie member of parliament? Tell me, hotshot: when you pass a zombie in the street, do you smile in polite, respectful acknowledgment, or do you bash it in the neck with a shovel and run, screaming at supersonic pitch, to your uncle's house?

Yeah, I thought so, big man.

Oh sure, zombies may have difficulty in articulating certain consonants, on account of their badly decomposed lips and precarious dental structures, but is this really a reason to deny them a voice? A right of reply, even when that reply consists primarily of wet gurgling and the word 'Bra-a-a-i-ins' repeated ad nauseum, should still be a basic right of all citizens, living or undead.

Zombies: I urge you, rise up out of your damp graves and be heard. Throw off the shackles of oppression: the ghosts need them for clanking and besides, they clash with the shredded funeral suit you're wearing. It's time to get mad, or at least, madder than usual. It's time to get even.

There's a meeting at the town hall on Wednesday; lemonade will be provided, but please BYOB. See you there!