flub-a-dub in the purple west helicopter(David G. Lanoue)a bald eagle atop the sharp left turn sign(Naia)a woman knits flowers on a soldier's grave(Lawrence)her second husband wears red-framed glasses(SAT??Æ Ayaka)apple sack and a library book about gravity(Deborah P Kolodji)eternal doldrums on the Sea of Tranquility(josh wikoff)in no time a lonely cricket calls the tune(Vasile Moldovan)Don Marquis' archy cocks a snook at humans(Kathy Earsman)small business the pub owner strokes a huge belly(Origa)her best rose-covered cup dulled by dust(Sandra Simpson)all night the humpbacks speak of love(josh wikoff)a water lily opens in Kakadu(Anne Elvey)my hand on the rock no space for a shadow(Sandra Simpson)da Vinci knows of these things light shade and objects(Rhonda Poholke)by the window who sits stitching pearls onto silk?(Genevieve Osborne)in poverty's grip identity folds(Michael Roper)cherry blossom drift- here comes the poet with his hippopotamus(Lorin Ford)listening to Pink Floyd still on the hit list(Barbara A Taylor)
This is Part 1 of Free Haikunaut Renga. Comments for this post have now been closed.
For a summary of Cordite's haikunaut renga project, please read this post. Haikunauts are go!
Lorin and Barbara, thank you very much for your opinions about my haiku. Its help me.
My proposal for #19
listening to Pink Floyyd
still on the hit list
Barbara
open window-
a human voice rising
as far as the moon
or
a bacon
at the horizon-
the spring moon
or
suddenly,
in the floodlights
the spring moon
Vasile Moldovan
Sorry for a letter in addition (y in Floyd)!
Hi all – the more I read the renga so far, the more I like – Keiji you are doing a fantastic job – and is David helping too? And reading Barbara's 'listening to pink floyd…' follows on quite beautifuly – what does everyone think of this idea? – that Keiji gets to contribute a ku – or are you intending to Keiji? If not I'd like to suggest we do have one in from Keiji – a number could be nominated – say 25 or whenever, we could ask Keiji to write 2 or even 3 for that number then Keiji posts his ku and WE get to vote on which one we like – that way Keiji is included – and will be a part of the renga as well. And we will have had some experience on the selecting side. What does everyone think? Keiji? I think its a good idea
Hi Keiji – this is my submission to follow Barbara's 'listening to pink floyd—' is it okay that I submit my 'caretaker' ku?
in the caretaker's bag
a sharp sword
to slice almonds
or
run….but you can't hide
from the phantom….he is
a walking ghost
or
down by the olive grove
is a brick road
you might consider
Hi Keiji,
“Tsuke'ai” – (I am certainly learning a lot here, thank you) – my favourite is also Vasile's response to Josh Wikoff:
eternal doldrums
on the Sea of Tranquility (josh wikoff)
in no time
a lonely cricket
calls the tune (Vasile Moldovan)
- for that spark of life from the cricket that kick starts the next instant and gives hope. For me the image is reminiscent of the water snakes that broke the spell of the becalmed ship in Coleridges' 'The Rime of the Ancient Mariner'.
I think your image is beautiful Vasile.
Hi Keiji – I probably should not have sent the new Ku yet – as I believe there was a new page starting – my apologies and do I need to re send them later? Rho P
Hi Vasile… re your:
a bacon
at the horizon-
the spring moon
I'm wondering whether there is a typo here and you meant to write 'beacon'?
cheers,
lorin
Thanks, Lorin. Of course, I wanted to write beacon. Excuses for this mistake.
Here is the correct form of the second haiku:
a beacon
at the horizon-
the spring moon.
Good stuff, poets.
Aloha, Lorin, nice to see you here. Loved your poet's hippo…very funny, and learning it's parody adds tremendous depth.
As for impressive tsuke, it was Sato's 'red-framed glasses' that inspired me to join this renga. By itself, a clear, simple image. With the maeku it's just masterful!
cherry blossom drift…
here comes the poet with his
hippopotamus (Lorin Ford)
listening to Pink Floyd
still on the hit list (Barbara A Taylor)
a kaleidoscope
of neonate stardust
in her eyes
Oh, and I'm pleased to be included in many of your favs for verse pairings…
down by the olive grove
is a brick road
you might consider
Nice one, Rhonda.
Hi Keiji and all,
Like Rhonda I was wondering if we needed to wait for the new page, but this seems to have taken on a life of its own, so here are a couple of responses for the next ku:
what spirits sleep
on the moon’s
dark side?
deep cold
chisels
her secret face
listening to Pink Floyd
still on the hit list (Barbara A.Taylor)
someone's making wishes
on the slow side
of the moon
Hi Sandra and Lorin – I grew up with bees so I appreciate the enormous work they do for humans – which puts them in the catogory of horses and dogs – of which thousands have given their lives for us during the wars – and then there's the bird community – those hawks/pigeons etc that have been message carriers – and recently studying the pioneer era – the bullocks that have been so cruelly beaten and starved in the name of opening new land – not to mention all the wild animals that are slaughtered for tusks/fur etc – yes, I am an animal lover – and that's partly why I love Lorin's hippo ku – especially when I learned of its background – so bees, horses, dogs etc etc – take a bow – we are in your debt -
Hi Josh – I agree with you – Sato's 'her second husband wears red-framed glasses' – just shot me down in the most splendid way – as did Lawrence's ' a woman knits'
then suddenly you get 'flowers' and then you are told 'a soldier's grave' – three powerful images in the one breath – and Sato's 'her second husband…' just perfected
it – there is so much mystery, yet on the other hand, we know all we need to – and Josh, thank you for your comment on my olive grove ku – and 'eternal doldrums on the Sea of Tranquility' – is a deep thrumming, very moving ku – when I first saw it, I must admit it was rolling around my mind for some time – a clever conflict – both soothing and unresting – for me anyhow
Hi Anne and all – I like 'what spirits sleep on the moon's dark side?' – as I do your Kakadu ku – which follows Josh's wonderful humpback ku very nicely – I must say I was taken on a sudden beautiful ride from -'humpbacks speak of love' – to 'a water lily opens in Kakadu' – and Vasile – every time I hear a 'lonely' cricket, I will think of your ku – and Kathy's Don Marquis ku – that too I enjoyed immensly your quick humour Kathy – but how do I leave out any? Origa's and Sandra's -'small business…' and 'her best rose-covered cup…' Deborah's 'apple sack…' for me a totally diff approach – the start for me was confusing as I didn't know renga – but David's helicopter ku opened up a new idea joining with Naia's eagle ku – which I loved because I so admire the eagle – another bird which has been badly treated – this ku was very visual for me – and lastly, Sandra's 'my hand on the rock' – took me back to my childhood with its warmth and kin to rock – which stirred in me memories of growing up beside The Grampians in Vic. Genevieve's 'by the window who sits stitching pearls onto silk' also reminded me of my childhood – and met with Michael's 'in poverty's grip', a surprising jump – from shining beauty – to raw truth
Hi Everyone,
Going way back I like Anne's
on the tar
the tick of seep pods
eucalypt rain
ticking … opening … time again
listening to Pink Floyd
still on the hit list (Barbara A.Taylor)
a change
in priorities
each day
or
number one
crossed off
before we start
or
bufo marinus
on the way home…
splat!
For me, there are many good linkings…‚ÄúTsuke‚Äôai‚Äù. I also like Barbara's 'Pink Floyd' a lot, with it's play on 'hit list', which also relates to hippopotamus being on the poachers' hit lists. They shoot them and sell the teeth as ivory. Hippos are on the endangered species list these days. …this as well as the 'pink' linking to cherry blossom.
hey, Josh
aloha, g'day from a sunny Autumn day in Melbourne. Love your two ku [I insist that one is about whales, though the ambiguity isn't lost on me]
Can you [or anyone] tell me if this one's valid, since you [Josh] have used 'love' already? I have my doubts, but don't know.
listening to pink floyd
still on the hit list
[Barbara]
slowly, quietly
the earth moves…
snails in love
…another go:
listening to pink floyd
still on the hit list
[Barbara]
despite Aeroguard
I’m her chosen target—
first mosquito
I love Lorin's mosquito ku above,
and offer:
unscheduled
happy wanderers rock
the knapsack bridge
even strollers
skate on the ice lake
in Hopfensee
Hi all,
Thank you Genevieve O for your comment on my eucalyptus ku …
Rhonda, the more I think about it the more I like your “down by the olive grove…” with its lovely reference to the brick in the wall and yellow brick road? It feels to me as though it is a ku to open things up, with the invitation to take to the road and consider.
I like your slow earth, snail love ku, Lorin. I have no idea whether using the word love again is a no-no. Keiji mentioned above that a renga needs several ku on love themes.
Fleur, your knapsack bridge is an interesting image. I like both your ku just posted.
snails in love…are you kidding!? wow! solid, lorin…
listening to Pink Floyd
still on the hit list /bt
slowly, quietly
the earth moves…
snails in love /lf
my story
your story
smiling mountain /jw
Keiji_san, where you at with side two? Shall we have a ku from you, as was requested, to lead us off?
humming
an old song -
summer garden
and may I resubmit:
the first brush-stroke
completed
to the sound of thunder
Josh
… if we can have cats in love, I reckon we can have snails in love, too.
Besides, it certainly LOOKS more like true love with snails
Hi Anne…
…well, it really is only the surface of the earth, the earth of my tomato patch that was moving…but it gave me the idea.
Lots of really good and interesting connections in all of the ku being posted here!
lorin
… my 3rd go:
listening to pink floyd
still on the hit list
[Barbara]
a kiss, a sigh
not a cloud in the sky
and all that jazz
Thank you everyone for your comments!
As Keiji mentioned, we're closing the comments section on this post now, as we're at the half way mark of the renga.
Haikunaut Island Renga 2 is now GO!
I'd like to encourage those readers who may be lurking or who might just be shy to have a go at submitting your ku in the second half.
The more the merrier, as they say!
David