Continued from Haikunaut Island Renga 1.children laugh unafraid of the past in the summer grass(Keiji Minato)a ladybug of leisure wanders upside-down(Fleur)on a city tram opening to Han Shan's distances(Lorin Ford)cold mountain range plays hidden music(Joseph Mueller)hunting truffles the sow cannot help herself(Ashley Capes)the streets are empty now rumble of a tank(Greg Rochlin)after the lightning strike a ti-tree blooms in halves(Rhonda Poholke)a divorced mother bungee jumps(Aldia)tattooed on the back of her neck a howling Jesus(David G. Lanoue)a cardboard alphabet tacked to backyard trees(Joseph Mueller)our renga booklet- the wind turns leaf after leaf and the moon reads it(Vasile Moldovan)the players rehearse on Prospero's isle(Lorin Ford)after midnight it all goes topsy-turvy(Genevieve Osborne)youtube koalas munch on pixel gum leaves(David Prater)cross-species kindness - a fireman offers his water bottle(Anne Elvey)morning meditation a crow disrupts my shadow(Graham Nunn)garden lilac unfurling at the tempo of its fragrance(Origa)our postman arrives - pitter-patter tin drum(Michael Roper)
This is Part 2 of Free Haikunaut Renga. Comments for this post have now been closed.
For a summary of Cordite's haikunaut renga project, please read this post. Haikunauts are go!
one more then, while I'm alert tonight…though it's hard to match Origa's
garden lilac
unfurling at the tempo
of its fragrance (Origa)
just enough green
to remember spring
Thinking about lilacs and fragrance and what we take away with us:
from the bloom
I carry a sprig
kookaburra bray
silences the other birds
welcoming the day
heron tall on log
rapier swift the silhouette
goodbye wary frog
pelican gliding
black and white in perfect flight
comical landing
Thank you Keiji and all for the wonderful experience of being part of this renga creation process! Some offerings for the final ku:
garden lilac
unfurling at the tempo
of its fragrance (Origa)
a barefoot dance
etching the senses
or
barefoot dance etching
the senses into life
or
one last flake of fancy
the knapper steps back
garden lilac
unfurling at the tempo
of its fragrance (Origa)
the last word on the last page -
how quickly the snail travels!
Hi, everyone. I'd like to thank you all the contributors and readers to make
this a wonderful journey, above all, for me. I have learned so many things,
and had lots of pleasure reading all the great ku! Well, renga is really
a mysterious, vital art form, don't you agree? I am planning to get into
the world of this linked poetry.
All right, I have to choose the last ku – As you can see, we have so many
beautiful lines (as always!):
smell of crushed grass
springs back into a memory (Greg Rochlin)
sleeping with the open window
the first dream of spring (Vasile Moldovan)
a sunlit prism
Ode to Joy (Aldia)
barefoot dance etching
the senses into life (Fleur)
jumping the fence with me
the skylark's song (Sandra Simpson)
I love these (and there are several other superb ku, of course). I am glad
to see many in this round refer to light or brightness in different ways.
At the end point we still have this much variety. It's surprising.
Either of these verses would be a great closing ku, I'm sure.
However, I'd like to finish our renga in a lighter tone, avoiding a grand finale.
For that purpose, it seems to me that Michael's next ku is best:
our postman arrives -
pitter-patter tin drum (Michael Roper)
This ku successfully shows brightness ahead in a daily scene. The letter the
postman carried to us may be inviting us to a new experience!
(I'd like to drop the period in the end, for the consistency of our renga.
Is it okay, Michael?)
Oh, it's finished now? Really? As everyone wrote, I hope we'll meet
somewhere soon (I'll surely visit Ashley's Issa's Snail). Thank you all again
& thank you Davey and Cordite for all this invaluable experience.
Au revoir!
one more:
garden lilac
unfurling at the tempo
of its fragrance (Origa)
putting buttons in the button tin
for later
Hi everyone – so many of these I like – too many to go through – but what the hec I will – 'how quickly the snail travels' – lovely Sandra '….etching/the senses of life' – lovely too Fleur – Longte 'goodbye wary frog – I like, as I do Joseph's 'from the bloom/I carry a sprig' and Gen I like your '…tremble/when a good book ends?' and your 'magpie – I had maggies at work this morning, right under my nose – and Greg 'smell of crushed grass' – yes, nice and Graham's 'the path home' and Barbara 'taking her last bow/under confetti showers'- lovely – and Anne I very much like your 'coming home' and bandit 'admiring dandelions' I do like – so many that I've not commented on too I like
Hi Genevieve – I saw the 'utube koala' too on the news, looking pretty fit for what he's gone through – and in my town, in our artists window, we have the 'paintbrush koala' now
Here are my last contributions to this renga -
my flashing camera
catches the dingo's sigh
this gentle stream
nearly to our lake
Uluru dreaming–
the spread of her wings
Hi Rhonda, I very much like your 'this gentle stream/nearly to our lake' and 'Uluru dreaming/the spread of her wings'.
Thank you for your comments on my 'tremble' and 'magpie'. Yes I think the 'utube koala' will remain famous for some time.
Fleur, I also very much like your 'a barefoot dance/etching the senses' – wonderful. I think it puts the finger exactly on what we've all been doing here.
…I've just seen that teeny-tiny smiley face at the bottom of the Cordite page! That's so nice
– a very big smile to David and Cordite and Keiji! and thank you all again.
Hi Keiji – can I change my Uluru ku to this?
Uluru eclipse -
she dreams of spreading her wings
Hi, Genevieve~ I too like you revision on “tremble/when a good book ends”. I think it was too long and you didn't need “she said” anyway. I left out tenderly, in my revision of posey transmitted/into the wild blue yonder because i thought it was too long…..My other ku was inspired by Vivaldi and my four daughters. My daughters went to our local graded school which has a wonderful string program, and they took violin lessons in elemtary school. One of my daughters wants to play again, amd I hope she will…..I miss the instrument playing in the house….very different from the drums, which has been the latest faze by the youngest, who is 13. In keeping with the “tempo” , one last try:
garden lilac
unfurling at the tempo
of its fragrance (Origa)
a sunlit prism
Ode to Joy
Hi renga friends, thank you all for your kind words about my ku, I appreciate it very much! Like everybody else, I feel some sadness that this fascinating experience is almost over… and I also very much hope that we could write another renga together, one day!
Couldn't reply earlier because I was finishing my haiku contest — now the results are posted (you may read all the winning haiku and my analyses, if you are interested, here: http://origa.livejournal.com/160399.html )
Thank you, Keiji, David, and all renga-ists, for all this fun and learning experience! And I hope it's okay if I post last ku, for all of you with warmest regards and admiration:
coiled up inside a bush
the snake made itself small
I must say I like Vasile's 'sleeping with the open window/the first dream of spring' and its optimism.
Congratulations Michael – a lovely ku – a nice ending – and all the best to you Keiji and to David and others at Cordite – and everyone else – all the writers who took part in this renga, may the verse be with you
Yes, congratulations Michael, it's a lovely way to end – and best wishes to everyone.
Congratulations, Michael… an interesting and ambiguous ending to the renga.
Like others, I've found the experience of participating in Keiji's renga exhilarating and refreshing and look forward to more renga.
Many thanks to you, Keiji and also David 'haiku guy', and our host, David Prater [Cordite] I'm still a little unsure who is David and who is Davey! Also of course, my thanks to everyone who has joined in, offering their ku and their comments and contributing to the friendly communal atmosphere. A delight to meet you all in this way!
g'day Keiji
I think Michael's ending is most appropriate and offers up more possibilities.
I was wondering what shall we do about a title for this renga?
Thanks again to everyone involved with the journey.
Already, missing the fun of it all.
Peace and Love
Congrats, Michael, a perfect ending!
And thanks again, Keiji, and to all at Cordite who let us play here, it was amazing, I feel happy and lucky to have been involved
Barbara, I think the title is usually taken from the first ku?
Ashley
Thank you Keiji, David, and David (Cordite) for this wonderful renga moment over the past months. There's a poignancy to its coming to a close.
Nice way to end, Michael. Congratulations!
Thanks to everyone else. It's been great to meet you here.
Anne (:
Still not sure how to make the smiley face appear – maybe
Got it! By all, and thanks again.
Yes, well done Michael – a musical, resonating ending.
So, au revoir!
Have just got back and comments are still open – so just a few more words.
All morning have been hearing Michael's tin drum – with whistles and music – as though we're all in a happy parade – celebrating this experience. Thank you again Keiji, David Prater and Cordite – I too feel lucky to have been a part of it.
Maybe Cordite will do another – one day. That would be so good!
Bye to everyone and all best wishes, Genevieve.
Dear Haikunauts,
Well, here we are – I can't believe we've finally made it to the conclusion of Haikunaut Island Renga! I'm simply overwhelmed by the response to this experiment, and want to send out super props to our Renga Master, Keiji for his dedication and creative ku selections! We'll be closing the comments on this post now, but I've just put up another post with some thoughts on future possibilities – as ever, your comments are welcome!
Davey aka David Prater aka Cordite Ed